About a decade ago I discovered that I liked doing housework until my then partner would come home, I would be in an instant grumpy mood. What changed when he walked in the door? It took a year or so, but one day I was vacuuming and in he walked, I was instantly grouchy and he looked around and commented what a great job I was doing. He was surprised by the look on my face and thereafter I enjoyed housework without the grouchiness.
He hadn’t planned his words, but had seen the room I’d just been in in a different light and appreciated what he saw. More importantly, he voiced his appreciation. I hadn’t realised until that moment that I had wanted acknowledgement, but the simple expression of gratitude made a tremendous difference.
When I moved back home not only was it expected that I would do all the housework, but the way I was spoken to really upset me. One day, Dad and I had it out and some nasty, hurtful things were said. I was shocked. My instinct was to escape and I tried. Oversoul had other plans for me and after an hour talking to another family member, I chose to let go of my pride and stay.
It was one of the most challenging things I’ve done and I grew from it. As time went on, it mattered less the way he spoke to me, I simply went about my business. What happened over the months was he gradually began to change the way he spoke to me. One day I received a thank you and I was surprised. Did it make a difference? Not really, and that surprised me too.
It’s been over a year now since I moved back and approximately a year since Mum went into a home. Today, Dad and I worked together, it was all for him, assisting with things he’s not capable of doing himself and it went rather well. Imagine my surprise when not only did he thank me, but he complimented the way I organised things, plus he later told me how grateful he was for my assistance. Wow!
Did I need to hear any of this? No, but it was nice to hear.
What are your thoughts about housework?
Is gratitude or appreciation necessary?
What do you think would happen if everyone expressed gratitude?
What do you think would happen if no one expressed gratitude?
Is it challenging to say thank you?
Should thanks be given for everything?
What about people who apologise for everything?