Children can have difficulty setting boundaries, as most boundaries are imposed upon them. Therefore, as an adult, people with this kind of background do whatever they want without anyone to tell them “no.” To balance out the childhood feelings of not having boundary control, these types of people set the boundaries “first” regardless of who or what is in their way. The child alter will do anything to maintain this type of control over others. And, the child alter will go out of his/her way to ensure that no one tell tells him/he what to do—even when it is in the best interest of the person.
Child alters that come out can argue, fight, and express anger anyway that he/she wants. He/she can yell, stomp, hit, scream, throw things, explode with rage—it does not matter.
The child alter simply is doing what an unfettered child would naturally do under similar circumstances. The child alter feels entirely free to act out this type of behavior.
Child alters have no rules, no boundaries, no one bigger than them to say “no.” Some adults with child alters choose to eat candy all day, or stay up all night and sleep all day. Some choose to do nothing but eat candy and junk food. Some are messy and filthy just because they can.
Most child alters start to form around the age of two to three when the child really starts to “get” that “this is the way it is.” By five, most children realize what their life is. A child alter has no rules except the rules of a two- to five-year-old. They can now set their own rules, and they do. You cannot reason with a child alter. Have you ever tried to reason with a two- to five-year-old? It just cannot be done.
Additional child alters/sub-personalities often form at certain ages of natural maturity, such as eight to ten, twelve to fourteen, and then again at sixteen to eighteen. At this point, most children are physically free to leave home. But the mental and emotional patterns are already installed, and this is what stays with them the rest of their lives.
Child alters are not able to take responsibility. It is never “their” fault. It is always “your” fault. Child alters view the world as “doing something to them.” They definitely are the victims! (cont’d)