Today I had organised to avoid meeting someone. This someone had sent me a threatening ultimatum via email last week and after a moment of shock, I realised the positive potential of what had been written. This was when I pushed back.
The recipient didn’t like my reply and went into ‘damage control’. The emails that kept coming back were enlightening and not worthy of replies. Apologies, explanations, aggression, passive aggression, accusations, comparisons, ‘grass is greener’, it went on. ‘Kiss me, smack me’ is what stood out.
I did reply, short and succinct, my original reply of ‘push back’. It wasn’t long before I received multiple emails confirming that my ‘push back’ was correct, but there still came the array of comments I listed above.
Toady I went to retrieve some belongings from this person’s home. They knew I would be there and had left the door unlocked. As I was driving there I asked my Self why I was avoiding confrontation. And really, would it have been a confrontation? I was avoiding it because I was still bitter. This feeling was so subtle it could’ve easily been missed, but I like to pull these things out so they won’t come back at me.
The moment I found that bitterness I understood that I had been imprinted with it by my mother. I traced that back to the times she would express her disappointment in me.
This entire drama has already been beneficial in many ways.
Do you avoid confrontations?
Or do you pursue them?
Are you able to decide which is the better action?
And if you can, do you know why you choose one over the other?
If you detect ‘undesirable’ feelings within, what do you do with them?
Do you allow your feelings to fester?
Do you understand the method and value of pulling feelings out?
Can you see ‘positive’ in ‘negative’ situations?