Part 2
If you felt powerless as a child, you will find a situation where you feel powerful.
This can often be seen in the workplace, where some supervisors wield their power like swords.
Or, where one employee manipulates one against another—all power plays resultant from people who feel powerless and must at some point work it out so that he/she does have power, even if it is gained by being devious, sneaky, and underhanded.
The difficulty with this type of behavior is that most likely others are hurt in the process.
This is a reflection of the hurt that was done to you, and that you are avoiding.
So, you hurt others over and over again in an attempt to reconcile that hurt with the offending parent.
This particular emotional part of you virtually stopped maturing as a young child.
Since that young child had no choice, it suppressed those feelings.
The child could not consciously do anything but go along with the parental program.
Because it does not have the tools to know any better, that hurt, angry child now feeds the cycle. (cont’d)
I remember sitting in my room listening to parents fight and came home one day to an empty house because my dad took everything away in spite. There was nothing I could do and it felt like my fault
But it was not your fault! This imprinted the low self-worth/ self-sabotage and self-punishment you described in Q&A. Release father on alter and grow up that scared little boy!
I remember sitting in my room listening to parents fight and came home one day to an empty house because my dad took everything away in spite. There was nothing I could do and it felt like my fault
But it was not your fault! This imprinted the low self-worth/ self-sabotage and self-punishment you described in Q&A. Release father on alter and grow up that scared little boy!
Thanks I appreciate it. Even to this day I find myself overhearing people’s conversations to see if it has something negative to do with me just like when I was a little boy stuck in that room
Thanks I appreciate it. Even to this day I find myself overhearing people’s conversations to see if it has something negative to do with me just like when I was a little boy stuck in that room
My mother-in-law who is extremely manipulative and materialistic in addition. I can even see her lost little girl so frighten and even traumatized. I feel very compassionate toward her. Sometimes her anger acts this little one and in split and then she acts completely differently. I can see the repetition of the cycles in her family especially with her sons with whom she always has problems. She turned 90 this January.
Now my cycle must end this year. I am speaking about my son. As his mom I have to admit I needed almost endless number of experiences just to feel enough i brake “the umbilical cord” once and for all.
I still have contact with him sporadically, but this time I am out. 🙂 I mean it.
First time is so many years he asked me to lend him the deprogramming material so he could start. Ha…. ok….. One step at a time…. now he is seeking part-time job, even better…
Time to let go of son and mother-in-law. In so doing, you let go of what they reflect. They are on their own…so are you.
My mother-in-law who is extremely manipulative and materialistic in addition. I can even see her lost little girl so frighten and even traumatized. I feel very compassionate toward her. Sometimes her anger acts this little one and in split and then she acts completely differently. I can see the repetition of the cycles in her family especially with her sons with whom she always has problems. She turned 90 this January.
Now my cycle must end this year. I am speaking about my son. As his mom I have to admit I needed almost endless number of experiences just to feel enough i brake “the umbilical cord” once and for all.
I still have contact with him sporadically, but this time I am out. 🙂 I mean it.
First time is so many years he asked me to lend him the deprogramming material so he could start. Ha…. ok….. One step at a time…. now he is seeking part-time job, even better…
Time to let go of son and mother-in-law. In so doing, you let go of what they reflect. They are on their own…so are you.
After the May webinar, I realized I didn’t want to ‘hate’ my mother anymore, along with that is labeling, judging and swearing never to let her forget what she ‘did to me’. I wanted nothing more than peace within myself. So I didn’t give up sending her love, calling her, etc, and finally…. finally after a very long time, I love this woman. I put myself in her shoes. I see her for all that she lived thru, and had to do to raise 5 childrenI see her for just a person, not a superwoman she should have been. I see her as an amazing human being. I don’t ever call anyone an amazing human being, but now I see how I have short changed myself by dumping all my angry blame onto her. I seriously mean it. I love her. I sent her a little water color of roses for Mothers day. She said she would cherish it forever and forever. I believe her! I also sent her a copy of True Blood…. She is obsessed with her AB negative blood, meaning she doesn’t know what to do with the info so Janet said to send her that book. boy was she happy, not just because of the info, but because I sent her something … for mothers day. Our relationship is like it never was before. I just think of her in the best way now, I don’t need to talk to her, or have her prove that she loves me, by waiting for a call from her. I know she loves me. Never before have I ever felt this. Its worth living for.
Wow, that is so touching and beautiful!! Thank you for sharing that. Just wonderful and so happy for you!
Thank you and btw, you are an amazing human being too. that webinar was genius.
I also participated in the May webinar, and I remember your words and could feel your pain. I am so happy for you that you decided to have contact with your mom!!!
After the May webinar, I realized I didn’t want to ‘hate’ my mother anymore, along with that is labeling, judging and swearing never to let her forget what she ‘did to me’. I wanted nothing more than peace within myself. So I didn’t give up sending her love, calling her, etc, and finally…. finally after a very long time, I love this woman. I put myself in her shoes. I see her for all that she lived thru, and had to do to raise 5 childrenI see her for just a person, not a superwoman she should have been. I see her as an amazing human being. I don’t ever call anyone an amazing human being, but now I see how I have short changed myself by dumping all my angry blame onto her. I seriously mean it. I love her. I sent her a little water color of roses for Mothers day. She said she would cherish it forever and forever. I believe her! I also sent her a copy of True Blood…. She is obsessed with her AB negative blood, meaning she doesn’t know what to do with the info so Janet said to send her that book. boy was she happy, not just because of the info, but because I sent her something … for mothers day. Our relationship is like it never was before. I just think of her in the best way now, I don’t need to talk to her, or have her prove that she loves me, by waiting for a call from her. I know she loves me. Never before have I ever felt this. Its worth living for.
Wow, that is so touching and beautiful!! Thank you for sharing that. Just wonderful and so happy for you!
Thank you and btw, you are an amazing human being too. that webinar was genius.
I also participated in the May webinar, and I remember your words and could feel your pain. I am so happy for you that you decided to have contact with your mom!!!