Part 3
The second primary way of responding to parental issues is to bring someone into your life who repeats the same type of behavior as your parent.
If your parent emotionally and/or physically abandoned you, you will bring someone in who does this to you, over and over again.
This could be a spouse, child, friend, relative, or coworker.
By bringing someone else in to continue to play the “parent role” there is a part of you, specifically the part that was “injured” at that age level, who is trying to work this out through anyone who will assume the role.
Some people willingly assume the role, while others do not.
If you cannot find a willing participant to assume the role of, for example, your mother, you may subconsciously target a female who is close to you and then put that role upon her.
You may “attack” her in many ways as you continue to try to come to terms with your own mother.
This can make life even more uncomfortable for the recipient of such attacks. These surrogates usually have a victim mentality mind-pattern that provides the entrée for these types of attacks. (cont’d)
My male coworker now is reflecting my parent’s bullying. I’m working on boundaries, releasing, and protection techniques.
The bullying triggers me into overwhelm and then my ‘everything is wrong’ triggers.. So I feel I need to get a new job, move to a new place, etc. I am working diligently on this here because I want to crack this cycle. I bully myself so I am being gentle while untangling the ‘everything is wrong with me’ mind pattern.
My male coworker now is reflecting my parent’s bullying. I’m working on boundaries, releasing, and protection techniques.
The bullying triggers me into overwhelm and then my ‘everything is wrong’ triggers.. So I feel I need to get a new job, move to a new place, etc. I am working diligently on this here because I want to crack this cycle. I bully myself so I am being gentle while untangling the ‘everything is wrong with me’ mind pattern.
I didn’t think about any of these parental issues until I started doing my mental work and doing my best to understand who I am. I felt Mum was very controlling, she was the boss in our house and for years I believed that she was extra hard on me in comparison with my brother. I remember many times having to go and collect my brother because it was past home time, in the evening. He was told of but when I was late once and Mum came to find me the punishment was having to stay in all week. Then I married a man who controlled me. Lately with moving house I can see how I’m having control issues. I am not in control of when the Home Survey Report is sent to me and so am not in control of when the house actually goes on the market. I keep signing into my e-mail account and have just had to give myself a talk. Things will be ready when they’re supposed to be and not by my order. Challenging times 🙂
I didn’t think about any of these parental issues until I started doing my mental work and doing my best to understand who I am. I felt Mum was very controlling, she was the boss in our house and for years I believed that she was extra hard on me in comparison with my brother. I remember many times having to go and collect my brother because it was past home time, in the evening. He was told of but when I was late once and Mum came to find me the punishment was having to stay in all week. Then I married a man who controlled me. Lately with moving house I can see how I’m having control issues. I am not in control of when the Home Survey Report is sent to me and so am not in control of when the house actually goes on the market. I keep signing into my e-mail account and have just had to give myself a talk. Things will be ready when they’re supposed to be and not by my order. Challenging times 🙂