The second primary way of responding to parental issues is to bring someone into your life who repeats the same type of behavior as your parent.
If your parent emotionally and/or physically abandoned you, you will bring someone in who does this to you, over and over again.
This could be a spouse, child, friend, relative, or coworker.
By bringing someone else in to continue to play the “parent role” there is a part of you, specifically the part that was “injured” at that age level, who is trying to work this out through anyone who will assume the role.
Some people willingly assume the role, while others do not.
If you cannot find a willing participant to assume the role of, for example, your mother, you may subconsciously target a female who is close to you and then put that role upon her.
You may “attack” her in many ways as you continue to try to come to terms with your own mother.
This can make life even more uncomfortable for the recipient of such attacks. These surrogates usually have a victim mentality mind-pattern that provides the entrée for these types of attacks. (cont’d)