Two seemingly simple incidences… a day of delving and release.
Out shopping this morning with Dad, we were in a Health Shop and the woman serving us made a ‘New Age’ comment about my necklace. In hindsight I could see that this woman was trying to connect with me.
Secondly, we were crossing the road and a young woman walked passed and Dad commented “There’s a candidate for cellulite.”
Why have these two things caused a day of delving and release?
I wanted to understand why I had rejected a woman who was trying to connect with me. This led to my awareness of rejection by Mum from an early age, which continues even now. Many memories came up. I saw how I reject mySelf and that can be upsetting to admit to. Understanding why I reject Self led me deeper into awarenesses I’ve felt shame about admitting to, even to mySelf! I was imprinted by Mum to reject females, including mySelf, and looking back, I can see that she rejected herSelf.
Did you notice my comment about ‘New Age’? I judged and criticised the woman who was simply looking for a way to connect with me. Why did I judge and criticise and where else do I do that in life? I’m biggest one I judge and criticise!
Mum judged and criticised everything about me all of my life. From my drawings as a 4yr old, to my body as I grew up. She laughed at the changes my body went through and then gloried in seeing that I had developed fat on my hips in my 30’s. This caused me to be self conscious and to feel embarrassed.
Considering it was Dad who made the open remark about the young woman and I had felt a twinge at hearing it, I looked at why I was having to hear this. All year I’ve heard denigrating and judgemental comments come out of his mouth. Why do I have to hear this?! After a day of delving and connecting to Source, I understood that I still care about what others think of me. I had grown up feeling ‘less than’ and that is a cause of low self worth and low self value. I also must look at where I continue to denigrate Self.
Wow! two seemingly simple incidences and a day of delving and release!
My mind cannot stop and I no longer care what others think about that 🙂
How do you feel when you hear others judge and criticise?
Are you aware of when and how you judge and criticise others or Self?
Do you feel more comfortable with people of your own sex or the opposite sex? and if so, do you know why?
What seemingly simple incidence has occurred for you, which in hindsight holds great meaning?