Usually, you bring these mind-patterns in when you are born. Your environment either helps you proactively overcome the mind-pattern, or enhances your inner situation, making it increasingly difficult to effectively communicate in any social situation.
For example, did your primary caregivers encourage you to express your opinion, or were their opinions the only ones allowed to be spoken? If you are innately introverted, but are lovingly encouraged to say your inner thoughts, you create a positive and proactive way of strengthening one of your weaker attributes—that of effective communication.
If you are innately introverted and when you gather the courage to speak you are ignored, ridiculed, or punished, then you certainly are not going to venture out with your words very often. Or, if you have a natural exuberance and are a great communicator, but are ignored, ridiculed, or punished, you react to the outside world by inherently shutting yourself down.
As children, most people are encouraged to listen to the teacher, acquiescing to him/her rather than encouraged to mutually resolve personal differences. While not every teacher is this way, the system where most children spend their early childhood is designed to meet the unspoken needs of the group rather than any concerns voiced by the individual.
In addition, if you are a specifically programmed person, you are most likely programmed to not speak about your programming experiences and memories. If you do, then most often you are physically punished, with emotional and mental trauma following. This adds to a mind-pattern of isolation and further ingrains social anxieties. (cont’d)