In all cases, your sense of self-worth and self-confidence diminish, sometimes seemingly to the point of no return. As an adult, you most likely do not remember each and every incident, but most likely focus on the end result—which is your own lack of effective social interaction and your nervous to paranoid reactions.
Most people have some degree of social anxiety. For most people, regardless of background, sharing, speaking, and interacting does not automatically denote “kindness, compassion, understanding, caring, mutual challenge solving, and/or relief of emotional/physical pain.” Instead, the very actions that could “save” you become the actions that torture you.
People with social anxieties perceive each time that they share, speak, or act, as an opportunity for someone to emotionally or physically hurt the, or remind them on some level of a time when this happened. The communication process or attempts thereof, remind you of your lack of worthiness to even exist. These realizations, whether consciously acknowledged or not, exacerbates the anxiety that already exists within.
People with social anxiety look for ways that people can hurt or disappoint them. Because this has been your experience, you automatically set your defenses to “high” before you determine if there is any justification for this. This does not set up the process for successful communication. (cont’d)