It was a beautiful summer day, I had no worries in the world. Suddenly the doorbell rang. There stood three men, they were criminals and they wanted me to give them my plants. Yes, I was once a Cannabis Grower. I went outside with the men and nervously discussed how I would give in to their demands or not. After a long discussion, I tricked them into believing I had less than they knew. After cutting some of the plants down and giving it to the thugs, I slammed the door and just fell apart. Countless hours of work, so much money invested, the risk of being thrown in jail if being caught, the stress… Everything just fell apart in the blink of an eye. I was done with that life!
That was the moment I decided to change my life. Now, some years later and after a transformation I never could have imagined at that time, I look back at that moment as the best thing that could have happened. I was shaken to the point that i had to listen what God was trying to tell me, I was walking in the wrong direction. It could might as well been the authorities knocking, and I would have been thrown in jail for a year or two. Luckily I listened, and the change was in progress.
If there is somebody out there who is living a life they can not handle anymore, or just do not have the energy to keep doing the same mistakes over and over again. Then you can change!
Sadly, we often need a disaster to motivate us toward change. And we think that doing positive things is easy and well received by people in our vicinity… Then think again. To be the best you, takes a lot more work than being the worst you. The sad truth is that change takes time, layer after layer of your miserable existence has to be passed up to Oversoul, processed in your thoughts, mistakes are going to be made. I might strike you as a cynical man, I might be, but i am not stupid, and I learned the hard way how the world turns. Change Hurts…
I wished I had the guidance I have today in my parents, that was and is not the case. But I am very lucky to have found Stewart and Janet who has given me my mental tools I use today. And I am also learning by trial and error, I believe one has to in order to learn. Some things work, some does not, but you have to try to be sure. The most important question is: Where are you going?
What is the next step on the ladder of what you want to become? If you do not want to stay where you are right now, then don’t! Take a step towards something different and leave the old world behind. No one is going to do it for you.
It took some years before i learned to be honest with myself. As a former addict, I was an expert at self-sabotage. Before I could tell myself that I had a problem, that I was only hurting myself with my drug abuse, that took a lot of time and pondering. Sabotage is going to happen, that is just the way it is, nothing is perfect and one should never think in those terms. If you know where you are, if you know where you are going, then things will line up for you to grasp the opportunity to change.
If you find yourself doubting your progress and feel the need to sabotage yourself, think of the people in Standing Rock, and what they are going trough for the change that they want. Being an admirer of mountaineering, there is much wisdom hidden in that process. When you see these videos of climbers being above the death zone, 8000 meters above sea level. They do not rush to the summit and fly down, they take one step then rest, two steps then rest. On and on until, if they are very lucky, reach the summit that day. Chances are they have to try again some other day. Chances are they have to turn back because of circumstances they have no control over. They may have to go down, but they sure know where they are going when the storm has settled…Up!